I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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