Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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