I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
now i know why i became what i already was.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
