My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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