I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
farters have to be the big spoon...
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize
