The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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