it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I still have a little drunk in my system
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
