Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
