As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
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