yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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