i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
