he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
