and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
