so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
