Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
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