Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize