Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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