I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
