Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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