dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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