thus making me awesome and them whores
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
