So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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