Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
