Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
