I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize