What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
