Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
