We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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