If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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