Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
