I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
