That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
