i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
