He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
