i just sent this text using only my big toe
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
