I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
