Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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