I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Small penises have feelings too.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
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