If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
