hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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