Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
