sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Randomize
