dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
