happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
