i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize