? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
