Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
