my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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