I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize