I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
