Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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