First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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