yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
