GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
