suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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