how can u be prego again
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
