She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
