He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize
