She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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