quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize