forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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