hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
