By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
