I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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