I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
