from now on my penis is your penis
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
