so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize