I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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