i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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