your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
