Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
