he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Boobs are out for the taking
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize