it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
