i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
