You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
