Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
