Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
