Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
