i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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