wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
