dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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